Dear Eddie & Fred...and Rita

 The Rita Voice

Rita is new, all bright and scary.  I'm going to start recovery/refeeding soon.  I'm down to a bad weight due to a recent triggering episode and I'm tired, scared, and getting pushed to my limit.  So, I'm ready.  For the purposes of this blog, this part of my life is named Rita...this will be the 'voice' of my physical ED recovery process.  It starts this Thursday when I tell my team that it's time.  I will be handling this thru outpatient only for right now, I've got to try this way before any other programs as I'm slightly leary of that particular way.  My ED brain is trying to convince me that I won't be treated as an adult in places like that...I'm a bit old for the whole reward/punishment schtick and my life is wayy beyond parent/school/teenaged angst stuff.

So....hi, Rita.  It's going to hurt a lot getting to know you, but I'm tough.  I hope.