Dear Eddie (it's a bad one)

 My brain is in a box that gets smaller and smaller with each passing day.  I feel trapped, no one cares to even be around me.  I've invited people to do stuff with me and visit for many, many years. Acceptance of an invitation is so rare,  I don't remember last time it happened. Everyone seems to think I live at the very end of the earth,  my house is centrally located between most of the people I know, yet they act as though it's just so inconvenient.  So I must be this gigantic monstrosity of a human or just an unlovable lump of nothing. No one freaky cares about my accomplishments, I have stopped posting anything on line about the amazing stuff I think I can do,  the only time I'm seen is if I talk about EDs - and I'm bloody tired of the subject (and so are they), I live everyday with it just like the bullying that occurred everyday while growing up.  Other people are worthy of notice when they post the same, why not me?   What is it about me that they feel I'm nothing. Maybe I am nothing and better off forgotten. 

I'm a stupid piece of fat cow shit... so glad I have therapy today.